Over time, there was a lack of performance improvement, motivation was low, and people felt “robotic” as they were not really engaged at work. “When I started to learn about the coaching principles,” he says, “I noticed that they were quite different from my predominant behavioral style, so I wanted to challenge myself to learn a different way of doing things and to find out for myself how it would impact the results that I achieve. “I learned and practiced coaching at work by getting involved in coaching sessions every two weeks with my team members. I attended coach training, prepared myself before each coaching session, applied the principles when I coached, and after each session, I would think back about what I learned and how I could be a more effective coach. This went on continuously for six months and then suddenly over dinner one evening, my wife and daughter gave me the most beautiful smile, and guess what they said? ‘You are a good husband and father, and we love you always.’ It was a very touching moment for me, and a big surprise as I did not remember them saying that to me before. Later they explained to me that over the past months, I had been more patient and understanding and had cared for them more. Little did I know that when I acquired new coaching habits that were beneficial to my team, I had unconsciously adopted them with my loved ones as well, and they just loved it.”
Instead of controlling and always telling people what to do, Kayashima practiced effective listening, asking questions that elicited the good side of people. His other Japanese friends were amazed and asked him how he had managed to overcome his weaknesses and develop the many good habits that got his team members and family to appreciate him more. “The gist of it,” he says, “was that through practicing coaching principles and techniques, I had learned how to motivate, support and encourage people from deep within, and they felt important, capable and cared for instead of being manipulated by me. I also now know how to raise people’s self-esteem and ask powerful questions that help people create self-awareness coupled with a strong willingness to change their mindsets for better achievements. I believe that this is just the beginning, and I am committed to continue coaching and to learning more coaching techniques because I see worthwhile gains to the people I coach. My experience of becoming a coach has radically changed me for the better and as long as I am still alive, I wish to continue coaching.”