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Discover the mother of all virtues with this edition of ITD World’s Rapid Results Series. Read on as we share valuable insights to create quick wins to transform your life for the better.
One sure way of getting better results in work and life is by changing our thoughts, actions and habits for the better. But that’s easier said than done. Many people just focus on making excuses, blaming and expecting others to change and this turns out to be futile.
In the past we did try to make our spouses, family members, bosses and friends change in the way that we wanted and we did not succeed, but when we decided to improve ourselves continuously, we won big time. The person that you really have control over is indeed yourself.
Remember the wise words of Mahatma Gandhi? He said “Be the change that you want to see in the world.” Listen to Michael Jackson singing the Man in the Mirror and you will ﬁnd this valuable point “If you want to make the world a better place, take look at yourself and then make the change” Go ahead, take a look in the mirror or your selﬁe device and say out loud, “positive change starts with you.”
So, how can you succeed in making the change?
The secret lies in what you do daily. Now, allow to us share with you the daily questions process and tool that will help you make big wins by accumulating small wins.
In our work as executive coach, we teach people about the importance of self-reﬂection as a daily practice to becoming more successful. This daily practice that we teach comes in the form of the active questions. We do this process ourselves and it has made a world of difference for us.
We’ve discovered that asking ourselves active questions rather than passive questions, changes the focus of our answers and empowers us to make changes that we wouldn’t otherwise consider.
Let’s take me for example (Marshall). If I ask myself, “Do I have good relationships at work?” I am asking myself passive questions. These passive questions describe a static condition. They cause me to think of what is being done to me rather than what I am doing for myself.
My question, “Do I have good relationships at work?” If the answer is yes, I think about how I like to work with someone. If the answer is no, I think about what I don’t like about another person. Either answer is an “environmental” answer. The reasons attributed to either answer are external factors. Answering such passive questions, seldom cause me to look within to take responsibility.
Now, let’s change this question to an active question, such as “Did I do my best to build positive relationships at work?” This question challenges me to reﬂect on my actions. It puts the responsibility for my relationships at work squarely on me. If positive relationships at work are important to me and I askmyself this question every day, I will start doing my best to build positive relationships! (In other words, I will get better!)
Why does this process work so well?
The good thing about beginning these questions with “Did I do my best to…” is that it is almost impossible to blame someone else for my failure. No one can be responsible for “Did I do my best to…” but me! It forces us to confront how we actually live our values every day. We either believe that something matters or we don’t. If we believe it, we can put it on the list and do it!
Test it out. Write the questions that you should ask yourself every day. Even the process of writing questions will help you better understand your own values and how you live or don’t live them on a daily basis. If you really have courage, have someone listen to your answers every day. You might be as amazed at the results as we have been!
The summary of steps to make it easier for you to get results in journey is as follows:
HOW TO INCREASE AWARENESS FOR BEHAVIORAL CHANGE THAT LASTS!
Answer the questions below as you prepare to change your world for the better. You might want to copy the questions to a separate document and save your answers for future use. If possible, discuss your answers with a partner and encourage each other.
Your answers to the above questions would help you identify your daily active questions by using the following tool.
Take a look at our examples and then create your own set of questions. You can choose to print the Word document for completion or use the Excel template.
Daily Active Questions Habit Change Scorecard