Uncertainty is the new normal. Enthusiasm has dwindled. Teams, and even friends, spend more time pulling each other down with negative speculation than lifting each other up with creative ideas. You might think these times call for you to be a strong leader when actually, this is the perfect time for you to coach.
Yes, people that look up to you need you to be open, honest, and more communicative than usual. They need you to paint a possible vision of the future that gives them hope. They need to see you as strong and confident, acting as a lighthouse shining through the dark.
You can be the beacon of light for others, but when they leave you, they will be bomboarded with alarming media posts, fearful messages from family members and friends, and irritating comments by those who laugh at their optimism. No matter how inspiring your vision is, the world around them will put a pin in your vision bubble. Emotions shape our reality more than facts.
You can’t just tell people to focus on the bright side and have them stay there. Without a sense of certainty about the future, real or not, the dark side prevails. You must shift the stories they are living by in order to change their minds.
Coaching is most effective when those you lead must shift their beliefs and release their fears. They need to be coached so the changes in the brain are real and permanent, serving them beyond your current conversation.
Most humans react to uncertainty by imagining the worst case scenario and believing it exists. They need you to be their thinking partner to discover what new work they are being called to do, which will help lift their spirits above the noise.
Besides, there is no clear way forward to show anybody. The best you can do is to coach them to examine their perspective so they find the opportunities in the challenges presented and the courage to be a light for others. If you start conversations with coaching, you give them the space and energy to join you in co-creating a meaningful present that could pave the way for a significant future.
I’ve been teaching leaders to use a coaching approach in their conversations for 25 years. The story never changes. They love the idea of developing their employees with coaching and they think it takes up too much time. It is quicker to tell people what to do.
I disagree. I think it saves time to coach people to think more broadly for themselves. They become agile, adaptable thinkers who don’t have to go to their bosses for answers on a regular basis. I often ask my coaching clients, “What will you do with the time you gain when you don’t have to put out every fire for your employees?” You don’t need to be a certified coach to engage others in ways that will expand how they see their capabilities and circumstances.
The International Coach Federation definition of coaching is:
Coaching is partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.”
The key word that differentiates coaching from other interactions is partnering. Coaches are thinking partners with smart and resourceful people. If they are willing, those we coach can solve their own problems through conversations that help them see beyond their blocks. The results are empowering.
How you listen is more critical than what you say. Add these four steps to your conversations to quickly change minds and behavior:
To coach well, you must
For further valuable learnings on how to hold transformational conversations from Dr. Marcia Reynolds, check out the page, Tips for Holding Transformational Conversations.
