Leading Through Uncertainty Requires Coaching

by Dr. Marcia Reynolds

Uncertainty is the new normal. Enthusiasm has dwindled. Teams, and even friends, spend more time pulling each other down with negative speculation than lifting each other up with creative ideas. You might think these times call for you to be a strong leader when actually, this is the perfect time for you to coach.

Yes, people that look up to you need you to be open, honest, and more communicative than usual. They need you to paint a possible vision of the future that gives them hope. They need to see you as strong and confident, acting as a lighthouse shining through the dark. You can be the beacon of light for others, but when they leave you, they will be bomboarded with alarming media posts, fearful messages from family members and friends, and irritating comments by those who laugh at their optimism. No matter how inspiring your vision is, the world around them will put a pin in your vision bubble. Emotions shape our reality more than facts. You can't just tell people to focus on the bright side and have them stay there. Without a sense of certainty about the future, real or not, the dark side prevails. You must shift the stories they are living by in order to change their minds.

The Power of Coaching

Coaching is most effective when those you lead must shift their beliefs and release their fears. They need to be coached so the changes in the brain are real and permanent, serving them beyond your current conversation.

The role of the leader in times of uncertainty is to coach people to think differently, not tell them what to do.

Most humans react to uncertainty by imagining the worst case scenario and believing it exists. They need you to be their thinking partner to discover what new work they are being called to do, which will help lift their spirits above the noise. Besides, there is no clear way forward to show anybody. The best you can do is to coach them to examine their perspective so they find the opportunities in the challenges presented and the courage to be a light for others. If you start conversations with coaching, you give them the space and energy to join you in co-creating a meaningful present that could pave the way for a significant future.

I've been teaching leaders to use a coaching approach in their conversations for 25 years. The story never changes. They love the idea of developing their employees with coaching and they think it takes up too much time. It is quicker to tell people what to do. I disagree. I think it saves time to coach people to think more broadly for themselves. They become agile, adaptable thinkers who don't have to go to their bosses for answers on a regular basis. I often ask my coaching clients, "What will you do with the time you gain when you don't have to put out every fire for your employees?" You don't need to be a certified coach to engage others in ways that will expand how they see their capabilities and circumstances.

Why coaching will help you lead through uncertainty

The International Coach Federation definition of coaching is: Coaching is partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential." The key word that differentiates coaching from other interactions is partnering. Coaches are thinking partners with smart and resourceful people. If they are willing, those we coach can solve their own problems through conversations that help them see beyond their blocks. The results are empowering.

FOUR PRACTICES to make your coaching EASY & EFFECTIVE

How you listen is more critical than what you say. Add these four steps to your conversations to quickly change minds and behavior:

Start the conversation by being curious. When coaching, people first need to feel safe with you to speak what is on their mind and express their feelings without being judged. Start by asking if they have a particular need they want to address in the conversation. They will probably tell you they have a problem and aren't clear how to solve it. Then, let them tell you the story that is triggering their emotions. Be patient. Accept their perspective as how they see the situation right now. Once they trust you won't make them wrong, they will be open to explore how they might change their story with you.
Activate their observer mind by sharing what you hear and notice. Use reflective statements like summarizing, paraphrasing, and noticing shifts in tone of voice and facial gestures so people can think about the truth of what they are saying and what is bothering them most. Combining reflections with questions help people put their stories on the table so they can observe their thinking patterns and reactions. Say things like, "So you are telling me..." "It sounds like you feel they are doing this to you..." and "You got quiet and looked away when you mentioned that. Can you tell me what you were thinking?" Be sure to play back phrases they repeated and key concepts they stressed. Ask if you are correct or if there is more to say. CLarify the stated beliefs about the present situation and assumptions about the future.
Crystallize what the person wants now. Once they agree with the story you reflected back to them, including the themes, expressed emotions and beliefs, ask them what they want right now instead of what is occuring. They may not know, or it might be impossible to achieve, but at least it is the beginning of a destination they can move toward. It is possible they just need to feel more comfortable with not knowing how the future will unfold. They might just need to know they are supported as they face surprising challenges that keep emerging. Eventually, there will be something they identify that is in their control to change.
Nudge them to agree to take at least one step. When they start to see different possibilities they couldn't see at the start of the session, ask them to articulate what they are learning, seeing, or beginning to understand. Once they identify a new idea, ask them what they might do now that they see something new or different. Even if they say they need to think about it, ask what thinking about it looks like. Get them to declare a next step to take whithin a specific time frame. This ensures progress and growth.

Coaching Mindset

President John F. Kennedy said, "After the dust of centuries has passed over our cities, we, too, will be remembered not for our victories or defeats...but for our contribution to the human spirit." In times of uncertainty, they need you to lead with coaching.

To coach well, you must

Let go of how the conversation will go. You can't be attached to how the conversation will progress or what the outcome will be. If you can't detach, you will end up forcing the conversation in the direction you want it to take.
Believe in their ability to figure out what to do. If you doubt the person can find a way forward, they will either resist your words or retreat in compliance. Remember you are there to clear the fog so they can access their own inner resources to figure out what's next.
Feel hopeful, curious, and care. They will react to your emotions more than your words. Don't let your impatience hinder the conversation. Model courage and optimism. If they reach a dead end in deciding what to do next, then you can offer suggestions for them to consider without taking their power away.

For further valuable learnings on how to hold transformational conversations from Dr. Marcia Reynolds, check out the page, Tips for Holding Transformational Conversations.