By Dr Peter Chee and Dr Jack Canfield
A wise coach always avoids judgmental and advice-orientated questions as they intuitively understand that judging others strips people of their agency. Instead, discerning coaches ask their coachees to tell the more about their situation. For example, you could say, “I am curious—would you like to paint me a picture of your feeling, the one you say is a bit ‘off color’ today?”
By prefacing the question with curiosity and concern, the coachee is not triggered to adopt a defensive attitude. If a coach asks, “How come you look so depressed?”, the coachee may get annoyed, or worse, clam up. When being judged, people don’t focus on what they want, they focus on what has been said.
Let us look at some examples of what judgmental and advice-orientated questions are, and how you can ask better ones to trigger deep thinking.
The wise man doesn’t give the right answers, he poses the right questions.
– Claude Levi-Strauss
The answers lie in the questions we ask.
– Jack Canfield and Peter Chee
TRANSFORMATIONAL COACHING QUESTIONS
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